Sunday Randoms – Mixed emotions

Namaste my readers!

Hope you’re having a relaxing weekend. Today feels like a Sunday Random blog post kind of day, so here goes….

-> Pictures from our visit to the beach in Surrey, B.C. last weekend. It was beautiful!

-> I’m in Ontario for the next few weeks. It’s so snowy here!

I flew back home as my Grandmother was recently discharged from the hospital. She’s 88 years old and requires around the clock care at home. My parents and my brother are amazing. My family is the definition of love and team work! 🙂 Since interviews are over and there are no more exams to study for, I took some time off from clinical traineeship and flew over to help. I get to spend some quality time with my Grandmother and it keeps me from thinking too much about Match Day. At the same time I miss my Husband a lot. My heart is always torn between Vancouver and Toronto ❤

-> I recently decided I want to run a 10K this year (hopefully in the next few months!). I have run 5Ks in the past and one 10K – then I injured my knee, repaired after surgery, but then I lost the motivation. Running is something that has been off and on for me. I love it when I build a routine and just keep going at it! I recently downloaded the Couch to 10K app on my phone and started running on the treadmill. Hopefully I will continue to keep at it because it would be wonderful to run my second 10K! Keeps me physically and mentally healthy!

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-> I am anxious, nervous, excited about and dreading Match Day all at the same time. For those of us who have been through/will be going through/know someone who has experienced this understand what I am talking about. Not that I want to take away the importance of the day from anyone else, but I feel that it’s a little bit more scary for people who have been unmatched before or are international medical graduates because it is that much harder. I am trying to remain calm. I have a back up plan ready to go….just in case. Yet again.

I recently posted my thoughts on this in Instagram….

I will be honest, I did not want to write this post, but why the hell not? To me Instagram is not about showing off a perfect successful life. It is about being real.
I am fearing Match Day. I can’t sleep, eat or go about my day without thinking about it. For CaRMS Match Day is March 1st. What if I go unmatched?
I have been through Match Day before and went unmatched. It was absolutely heartbreaking.
I felt I was not worthy of my MD. I was not worthy of being a Doctor. What was the point in continuing any further in my career?
I cried and sulked for a few days and then I had enough of it! I chose not to give up. I got back up, dried those tears and chose to improve my CV, write more exams, meet more people, to get out there and grab opportunities that will make me a stronger candidate for the next round.
I may Match, then great! I may not Match, then crap! Yes I will be sad and disappointed. I am only human. Only that I will not give up because being a practicing doctor is MY CALLING.

-> This Is Us spoiler alert! I absolutely love the show This Is Us. Did you catch the episode where Jack’s character dies from cardiac arrest after smoke inhalation and then his funeral? I have no words to describe how real and amazing Rebecca’s reaction to his death was! I cried like a baby….OK more like sobbed my eyes out! How is it that we get so emotionally attached to characters on a television show? All the actors on this show act their hearts out and make it so REAL 🙂 The show is currently on Season 2, so if you haven’t started watching it start from Season 1 (available on Netflix).